Friday, February 27, 2009

cats & chicken

Last Thursday morning, my friends and I went for shopping at Ikea. There was a sale there and the price after the offer was quite alright. My sister was puzzled over what I might be buying at the Ikea sale. Well, nothing much really. Among other things, I bought two soft toys, a hamster for my big sister and long green snake for my little sister. After shopping, T-rah bought half a dozen curry puffs for us all. Each of us had one, leaving some for those at home. When I thought one each was not enough, I bought a dozen myself. I had five for myself and the rest I gave it to my friends. I was full and thought that I had enough but when I saw my friends bought themselves some ice-creams, I want one too. I’ve spent a great deal of money that day but thinking that a day like this is rare, I thought I shouldn’t mind. A rare day that I meant is not a day when you turned shopaholic; it’s a day when you are happy. I was skipping to college, feeling great but when I got home after the class was over, I had a painful headache. I don’t know what I did or what terrible things I ate, but then I thought that this day is not so special after all.

During our English class, there was a discussion on the documentary, ‘Bowling For Columbine’. The one-question-one-person section then turned into a group quiz when Mr. Derick took pity on an unlucky person. The quiz was a fight. I was brainstorming for any possible answers in order to win the game. Maybe that was when I developed my headache. I thought my group can easily win the game because we had Calvin, Ginger, Nick, Su and others. It was a rather tough fight actually, although in the end, we won by far. The other group had Nad, Nana, Song and others who was quietly fighting.

When I was doing my National Service early last year, we did an activity called the ‘Water Confidence’. My close friend was not very fond of water but I begged her to try it. Wading in the water is not difficult but the life jackets we’re wearing were not practical, so we were struggling to stay afloat and not get drowned. I was eager to get into the water because I used to swim a lot but I still had a very hard time with my life jacket. When all of us were in the water, we spread out to different directions. Some went elsewhere themselves while some just let the water floated them to any part of the lake. When my friend was tired struggling in the water, she couldn’t control how her body bobbed about in the water. Eventually, her face went underwater. All of us couldn’t reach to help her so we shouted at the teacher for help who told her not to move while he was on his way to rescue her. It was a tense moment because I was extremely sure that she would be running out of air very soon. When I realized this, I quickly made my way towards her and when I reached her, I quickly turned her body so that she could breathe. She immediately gasped for air when she could. Seconds later, only then did the teacher reached her and pulled her to safety. I was really scared because my other close friend almost drowned during a jamboree when I was 16.

There was one time when my mother’s school staffs were holding a small party at the KFC. Buckets and buckets of fried chicken were bought for the celebration. My sisters and I accompanied my mother to the party, so we also get the chance to stuff ourselves with food. When the party was almost over, there were some extra chickens in the buckets. Many were asking for some more chickens while the four of us kept silent because we were actually waiting for something else. When we thought that everyone might have finished their meal, we went to the counter to ask for several big plastic bags. Then my sisters and I went from table to table to collect chicken bones. It was really peculiar and I think someone was disgusted. But anyway, we did kindly ask before we collect them. STOP! Don’t imagine us gobbling down the bones when we got home! Yucks.. They were for our 12 cats which were starving for some KFC too.

Friday, February 20, 2009

feelings pour

Some days ago, I was feeling tense with all the work I’m occupied with. I was quite down when I heard a shriek of a paranoid young lady. I’ll call her N.A. The shriek got louder when she ran into my room begging for help. No one in my room took much notice of her because it was just a cockroach. She went back into her room and seconds later, back into my room. This time, I helped her. “It is so big! As if it has lived for five years!” I was determined to see what my rival is made of. I was astonished that the five-year old insect is only 1.5cm long, when I thought it should be at least 4cm. I am still puzzled of how N.A judged the insect to be an adult cockroach when the real one has not even developed wings! Anyway, if any of you, readers are wondering, I did take a look at my ruler before I wrote this.

Many of my classmates are not really satisfied that most of our classes are in the afternoon. I have not much comment on that because it is quite convenient for me as I wake up quite late in the morning lately. I think it is because I always stay up late at night. Last Sunday, I woke up to see it was already 1.15pm. So, to avoid that during weekdays, I tried to go to bed a bit earlier at least. Going to bed does not mean sleep. What I mean is that I pretend to be sleeping and I only did fall asleep when it was near 3am. Maybe this problem is due to the Nescafe I had around 4pm every day. Maybe the fact that nothing has much biological effect on my body is true. The caffeine only has it effect on me hours later. P/s: I did not look at my watch to write this.

My classmates and I learned about the harmonics in Physics and students were to take examples of application of harmonics in some musical instruments. After I learnt this, then I know that harmonics are special. The harmonics on a violin are also special. I don’t know whether the two harmonics here are the same or not but both are different in their respective cases. Like a guitar, to produce different pitch of sound on the violin, fingers have to be placed firmly on different positions on the strings before you stroke the strings. But if you want to play the harmonic sounds on a violin, you don’t need to press onto the strings firmly but just touch gently the spot on the strings. I had wondered why before but I never knew and after long, I just let the facts be. Now, I’m confusing myself when I tried to relate the harmonics in physics with those on the violin.

I used to take music lessons a couple of years ago. I was quite disappointed that I started to play music when I was 15. My little sister is also playing the violin but she was not as old as I was when she started. I’m not very good in it but I really want to be. At first, I practiced for hours every day and when I realized I was overdoing it a bit, I gradually decrease the time I allocated for practicing. Eventually, my sister and I only practiced on weekends. My big sister plays the electone and she loves to play it to the loudest possible volume that the music can be heard over a couple of blocks in the neighbourhood. If she didn’t stop learning, I bet she would have been a professional player by now. I am so sad that she did even that she had to. What is sadder is that I am worse than she is. I only passed Grade 3 when I was 17 and I only learn my fourth till June of 2008. Now I have completely stop learning. There’s no doubt about me being jealous of my little sister because she has surpassed me! She can’t find a reason why she had to take the Grade 5 exam so she didn’t. I was shocked to hear this because I would do almost anything to take it. Exam fees? I don’t mind spending a few hundred for it when I have spent thousands. It’s not that I was rich or I was not fond in money. It’s just one way to get something you love more.

My family kept cats since I was very little. When the cats died, we just dispose the dead cats the easy way because there were too many of them. This is the only way me and my sisters got rid of dead cats till one time. We have a very terrible and extremely evil neighbour back in Alor Star. One of my favourite cats died on the road between my house and my neighbour’s. I can tell very well that something had run over him. I am almost 100% sure that the evil neighbour ran over him. My family never complained much about all the horrible things they did. I can only curse from afar. When I found my dead cat, I was hurt and angry instead of being really sad. I carried the heavy stinking body on a hoe to the backyard. Determined, I dug a hole deep enough for a dead cat even though the ground was very hard and difficult to be penetrated. I was the first in my family to bury any dead cats. At that time, I was hurt so much that I dug and dug without stopping till the hole got deep. Sweats dripped heavily that they trickled non-stop to the ground. Cats might be common creatures that people always see everywhere but they have made a lot of memories in my family’s life. I was compelled to write this because the event still hurts me. From that day on, I made sure that all of our dead cats be buried the proper way. Now, my backyard is a cemetery.

Friday, February 13, 2009

things on TV

This week, my classmates and I had a lot of replaced lessons. So, I am quite exhausted this week, in addition to my light fever. Tati had her fever just before me so I think the fever I’m having now is from her. Thank God I’m not as ill as Tati was. I have lots and lots of homework and studying to do. I really hope that I am able to complete this course successfully so that all my efforts won’t go to waste. What I’m hoping more now is the strength and the diligence to get through this challenge. If I do get to fly to Australia, besides my family, I would be worrying how hot it is there. Australia is one of the hottest places on Earth. There are news about people dying there. In the movie ‘The Japanese Story’, Sandy even said, “People die out here. Often.” But as I recalled how people who had been overseas including Australia, told me their remarkable story when they were there, I was back in inspiration to get going.

My documentary teammates and I had just finished our documentary trailer a couple of days ago. T-rah did most of the work as only she knows how to use the Window’s Movie Maker and the Ulead. We had fun shooting because we discovered something we never noticed before. We met a guy who wore checked-shirt, loose pants, funny colourful shoes and a plastic flower head at the left shirt pocket. He had a fussy hair makeover and also wore black circular, hollow earrings. Many thought he looked funny but he made himself happy though and thanks to him, our documentary had some interesting things inside. T-rah only asked him a few questions and I wondered why she was in such a hurry. Then I discovered that she was actually scared of the black earrings he was wearing.

Talk about weird earrings, there are also those who wear heavy earrings that eventually, the lower part of their ear flaps loosen past their shoulders. Natives. At the age of around 12, they make holes in the lower part of the flaps and hang earrings of masses not less than 1kg. Gradually, they use heavier earrings so that their ear would drop loose even more. Some natives wear rings around their neck and gradually, they use more rings to extend their necks. Some make holes in their lower lips to be put clay plates inside. They too use wider plates to gradually wider the holes in their lips. All three cases are because of beauty. Definitions of beauty are different for each group of community.

I know lots of weird things happening in the world through the TV. I love to watch discoveries and documentaries. When I was around ten, my mother and I stayed up late and saw a very interesting discovery about birds. It was about how different kinds of birds try to attract their love mates. We only caught the last part of the program so, we don’t know much about the fact. In the last part of the program, all of the attracting acts were compiled and showed in only a short period of time so, everything was in a fast-forward motion. Some female birds choose their mates by looking at the ‘houses’ built by the males. Male red-breasted robins show off their red chests to the females in a strutting pose. Some male birds jump high up in the air to attract mates.

I also love watching discoveries about lost cities. Do you know that many of today’s cities were built on a higher level than the ancient cities? In Rome, there are some obvious evidences about the fact. A modern town was built near an ancient ruin which is not less than five meters below the town level. In Paris, there is an ancient passageway below the Eiffel Tower. While many human beings nowadays live closer to the sky, some live in the ground.

Friday, February 6, 2009

variety of tales

Just now, Tati, T-rah, Ainin and I went to One Utama to shoot some interviews with the people for our documentary. We chose the topic ‘Generation Gap’ and we chose the issue on fashion to show the generation gap that is happening within our society. I have no experience in interviewing people, and so, I wasn’t really keen on the documentary idea because I am not good in doing something new, especially when it comes to talking to people. Everyone (except me) was very excited that they had headaches when the shooting was over. First, we interviewed a boy, who was wearing punk-style clothes. I was really hoping we could get some exciting information but the boy was very ignorant in issues, even issues regarding what he does best (from what I can see), ..wearing something. We, the aspiring ones, eagerly asked ‘bombastic-seemed’, but understandable and indirectly easy questions to the boy. But when it came his turn to answer the questions, he only answered one word for each question. I wasn’t surprised about his reactions because he clearly wanted to get back to his bowling game.

Early this week, I googled some information on the ‘Half Man, Half Tree’ story on the Discovery website. Have you heard about the it? It is shocking really and I was stunned when I first caught a glimpse of it on the TV. I was curious but I never dared to make some research on it. For two nights I had nightmares about the story. At first, I thought the event is occurring somewhere in South America but when I dreamt that it actually is occurring in a place somewhere near me, I was even more frightened. Later, I found out that the event is actually happening in Indonesia. “Phew, that was close. He won’t come after me if he runs amok.” Anyway, if any of you out there never heard of the story, it would be interesting to know something like that. There is only one man like that on Earth! I really pity him though.

My best friend bought me a key-chain once, which had some details about people who were born on the same date as I was. I still remember some of them. One says, ‘you value the talents of others.’ This is very much true indeed. Wow, I’m impressed. Another one says, ‘you dislike changes.’ Well, it depends whether they’re good or bad. The truth is, I am now slowly realizing that the second quote is actually true. Generally, things in my life are becoming better. So, of course I like the changes. One of the good things is, staying away from your family, and having the opportunity to study because you are not distracted. Now, that is one good change I hate.

I am actually running out of ideas of what I should write in my blog. So, I was tossing and turning on my bed trying to squeeze something out of my brain. Nadira saw me and she said, “Why don’t you write something you enjoy doing or like? Like drawing, or cats?” I don’t think talking about drawing would be interesting because I find that most of my friends here in KBU are very good in arts. Maybe they know more about drawing and stuff. I’m not very good in expressing myself even when I’m talking about my hobby. My friends know that I like to babble and most of the things I was trying to express to them, cannot be well understood. Oh, now I realize something. I am like Waris Dirie. I saw the interview of her about her life and I pitied her for not be able to put her ideas into words. I can see that she was struggling to get some words out of her mouth and arrange them so that others who are listening might be able to feel her feelings. But fear not Waris. I got what you’re trying to say. I am just like you!

I’ll tell a bit of something about my cats. I started to keep a cat when I was five. Before that, my family kept rabbits. Lots of them! They said the bunnies were let out into the garden and all the way to the front porch. They were hopping and scuttling across every patch of ground of our house. But sadly, one night, a couple of big dogs came barging into our yard and killed and ate all of the cute bunnies. None was spared.. Anyway, about my cats, there was once when all of our cats were black. The mommy and the daddy cat were both black, so all of their offsprings were black. The family consisted of seven members and it was quite scary to keep so many witches’ cats in your house at a time. My grandmother was not very fond of cats because she hated all the loosed furs and their poo. When she saw our black cats, instead of whining, she giggled and said, “Ei! They really scare me!” But she giggled alright.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

some more about me..

Rewards that might work for me? Something that can get me going? To study and to achieve something? I’m not sure how to answer that. Prize money would do, but not much though I long for it every day as if I don’t have enough. A new gadget, a holiday or a grand celebration? Thanks but no thanks. I would really like a kiss on the cheek or a congratulating hug if I succeed in something. But that is too common for me. Love is all around in my home. So, what is it that would inspire me to work hard? Actually, I would love to have a special but casual dinner, someplace else where I have never been to. I want to have dinner with everybody that wants nothing from me except love. I might sound seriously emotional and dreamy as usual but I mean every word. I have, of course reasons to want something. People always want something that is impossible for them to get and I am no different. There is actually a bit of love that is not near me.

Something funny but touching happened two days ago. My big sister was selecting songs from my hand-phone to be transferred to hers. She was grumbling that her memory card was not spacious enough to keep many songs in. I can see that she was being strict with herself to just select the best songs for her hand-phone. Suddenly, she laughed so hard that she surprised me. I found out that she discovered a recording in my phone, of my little sister calling me peculiar names and made a song out of them. She kept on playing the recording and laughed loudly each time she did. Then I discovered that among the few songs she carefully selected for her phone, she also chose the recording. I did not say anything but just laughed along with her. :-7

Do you remember the last time you fell down? A nasty fall that you would be sprawling on the ground? Well, I remember mine. It was last night. My little sister and I were enjoying ourselves, taking pictures of beautiful things around the house with creative perspectives. I tripped over her feet suddenly, and went down on the floor. Hard. Ouch!! I did not cut myself but I did hurt my right knee and my left arm. My sister laughed because she witnessed the whole great fall but I didn’t, so I didn’t laugh much. Of course, I only saw the things in front of me grew larger and nearer during the fall. Only a few minutes later did I laugh, when I discovered that was my first fall after many years.

I was a great mischief when I was in kindergarten, greater than all the boys. The teachers had a difficult time trying to cope with their laughter and to discipline me at the same time. When I was in my standard one and two, I was a loser. Everybody bullied me while I, always assume anyone at all as my best friend, and put the faked fact down in my little book of my family’s biodata. When I was in standard three till six, I was a joke for the boys and stupid small girls. When I was in my secondary school, I was a loner. I was bullied when I was in form one, met my best friend in form two, formed an informal small club to escape injustice in form three, met my second best friend in form four and became a lazy student who always slept in classes and found ways to cover my undone homework, in form five.

There was a small shallow swimming pool in the back of my kindergarten. Every Wednesday, if I am not mistaken, the five-year olds, were allowed to play in the pool. Most of the time, I changed into my swimsuit and enjoyed myself in the water. One day, my mother said this when I asked for her permission to play in the pool, “why not you, don’t go into the pool for just this time?” I asked why and so, she told me a logical reason which might be different from the real reason. When the time for swimming that day came, my friend wondered why was I not going into the pool. I told her, “you know what? I didn’t because the pool is full of everybody’s piss. My mother said so.” And so, the rumour or preferably, the hidden truth spread. The teachers were puzzled why the kids did not go into the pool anymore. They learnt why when one of my friends told her. Then, they found out that it was me who caused it and I think they would have grumbled, “this girl again..” My mother might have shrugged in a guilty way when the teachers asked her, “you told your daughter that?”